"I don't want to say or do the wrong thing. What should I avoid?"

Here are some pitfalls to avoid that will help you better support your loved one

1. Remind yourself eating disorders are illnesses, not a choice. Try not to judge your loved one's difficulty with eating.
2. Provide a warm and loving atmosphere instead of being angry or critical about your loved one's eating disorder behaviors.
3. Coach and encourage rather than engage in power struggles over food, eating and exercise behavior.
4. Be patient and hopeful rather than bribing a loved one to "give up" symptoms or guilting or criticizing lack of progress.
5. Take the stance that all foods have a place in balanced nutrition rather than splitting food into good/bad categories.
6. Refocus discussions away physical appearance and workouts.
7. Recognize you didn't cause the eating disorder in your loved one rather than blame yourself.
8. Change the subject rather than collude with eating disorder talk. Don't get drawn into giving reassurance about food, appearance, or size. You can also ask your loved one hows/he is feeling on the inside, so you don't focus on body shape, weight, or appearance. Remember fat is not a feeling.

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• • What to do when you are concerned
  • Approaching Your Loved One with Concerns
  • Expressing Concerns: What to say
  • Pitfalls
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• • Seeking professional treatment
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